Faking it

Do you feel like you have to fake being “normal” when you really feel terrible inside? In order to hold a job, to maintain relationships or to just function, I fake it all the time. And it’s exhausting.

I worked a full time job with a 45 minute commute. At times I was depressed, anxious or both. I would go into the bathroom to cry. But to them, I was upbeat and had a good attitude.

Over the years, it took its toll. If I had cancer, would people expect me to just “deal with it”? We are expected to live a double life. Me on the outside and me on the inside.

7 thoughts on “Faking it

  1. I often compare mental illness to cancer just to get a point across. Mental illnesses have a morbidity rate. Not like cancer, but still. I pretty much keep my bipolar a secret. I don’t mind sharing that I have ADHD or anxiety. Bipolar has a terrible stigma

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    1. Yeah. For me, faking it causes so much anxiety….I just end up shutting down. But what can you do? If you go around telling people you have a mental illness it would be even worse. ☹️

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      1. I know. I’m struggle with it also. I try to be my ‘own happy place’ and care for me as is needed for me. Than I can ‘function’ on the outside. But also, I’m at the beginning of the process. I am not able to work (yet) so, I’m not in your situation (yet).

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